“Re-entry is at least 10 times wilder of an experience than any rocket launch.”

In order to launch, the shuttle must be propelled with enough explosives to overcome Earth’s gravity. It hits 1,000 mph in the first minute and keeps accelerating until it reaches orbit. Astronauts have described it as insanely loud, overwhelmingly shaky, and with a force that feels like someone is sitting on your chest.

What could be 10x wilder than that?

Gravity

Where the launch away from Earth was all about resisting gravity, the return was all about riding it.

Gravity is a celestial force of attraction, and it is always attracting:

🌎 Earth’s gravity attracts our feet to the ground

☀️ Sun’s gravity attracts Earth into a 365-day orbit

🌕 Moon’s gravity attracts our oceans to create our tides

For the astronaut’s return, all they had to do was get into the flow of gravity. First, they rode the Moon’s gravity, which slingshotted them back in the direction of Earth without the need for fuel. And then once they entered Earth’s gravitational force, it pulled them all the way back home. The return was all about letting gravity work its magic!

And it turns out it is 10x wilder to ride gravity than to resist it.

I watched the press conference held 6 days after the astronauts’ return. Gravity physically held them to their chairs, but energetically, they were levitating. There was a high you could feel through the screen. As cool as it must have been to see the dark side of the moon, their enthusiasm didn’t end there. They were excited to get to work planning for next.

The Secret to 10x Wilder

And it got me thinking, if gravity is the celestial force of attraction that makes everything 10x wilder, what’s our personal equivalent?

I wrote recently about how I have lived a life obsessed with opportunity. Having lived most of my life for the thrill of the chase, I am contemplating how to chase less and attract more.

While I feel really proud of so many things I’ve accomplished over the past few years, it’s mixed with tinges of disappointment for opportunities that seemed so promising but never fully formed. I am struck by the fact that my ideas outweigh my capacity. I am impatient in the process of literally everything. And I crave a force of attraction so strong that it makes the experience 10x wilder.

As I reflect on my own experiences, I am also looking for clues to the obvious all around me. From the astronauts’ collective experience, all I can see is an invitation to double down on what you love and become absolutely delighted by it.

Gravity is the celestial force of attraction.

Enthusiasm is our personal force of attraction.

What if our own personal force of attraction that makes everything 10x wilder is that simple?

Delight.

I’ve tapped into it before, and I’m sure you have too. So tell me, what thrills you? What are you so enthusiastic about that you practically levitate?

el-də-’rä-(,)dō : a place of fabulous wealth and opportunity

Before that email, I didn’t know there was a word that captured so perfectly everything I craved about life. I immediately took it on as a personal mission statement: I would be the girl Chasing El Dorado.

I was a young associate at an accounting firm at the time, and I began to see everything through the lens of opportunity. I went back to school for my law degree because I expected it would give me more opportunities. When I graduated, I chose a consulting firm over a law firm — because it felt like the better opportunity. When the potential to transfer to my firm’s New York office presented, I went because, of course. I was the girl chasing opportunity.

But here’s the thing about chasing anything: it gets exhausting.

I had made all these big moves and reaped all the rewards that came with them, but your girl was exhausted. I loved chasing opportunity; it was thrilling! But maybe I could find the same thrill in smaller doses.

After a decade of chasing big opportunities, I had a new idea: what if I microdosed on it instead! My moment of clarity found me on a yoga mat in midtown Manhattan. My mission statement was evolving, I would be the girl Microdosing El dorado. Every month, I would choose one small thing to chase/commit to for 21 days. Sounds like habits, and felt like the baby steps of opportunity.

And it worked!

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In my 21 days of running, I became the person who fell in love with running again. Which led to me running the most magnificent marathon of all time: the Marathon du Medoc in Bordeaux.

Along the way of 21 days of no-spend, I became the person who got creative with what she already had. Which led me to buy my dream apartment in NYC.

During my 21 days of not being late, I became the person who stopped over-committing. This gave me the confidence to start making bigger career moves, ultimately leading me to the opportunity of a lifetime at work.

And on my 21 days of yoga, I became the person who tamed her monkey mind. I signed up for my first yoga retreat in Tulum a month later, which led me to yoga teacher training, and eventually hosting my own retreats.

These micro habits led me to a macro lesson on opportunity:

• It is bursting at the seams of life, and opportunity abounds

• It’s less about getting the “thing” and more about who I became along the way.

Chasing El Dorado, big and small, has been insanely fun. I became the girl who could see it everywhere and who has used it as a means to an end to live life to the hilt.

But I feel a shift happening again, like my personal mission statement needs a refresh. El Dorado still resonates with me, but what would it look like if instead of me chasing it, opportunity chased me?

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….to be continued, as I figure out exactly what that looks like…

In the meantime, create a little inspo corner in the comments section: what opportunity are you living right now, and did you chase it or vice versa?

When it comes to the lunar new year, I can best be described as someone with casual curiosity. This time last year I learned two things at once: that it was the year of the snake and that I was born in the year of the snake. That synchronicity was the only sign I needed to lean in.

And by that I mean that I did exactly two things:

• Nod to the Snake: I wanted to add a little something to my environment as an homage to the year of the snake. Snake art isn’t quite my aesthetic, but snake plants are! I consolidated my snake plants into a single planter and found the perfect spot in my space to put them on display!

• Rituals around the Moon: Since the lunar year revolves around the placement of the moon, I decided to create rituals that would put me in tune with it. I embraced “fresh start” energy for every new moon, and “reflection” vibes for every full moon. And just for fun,has played around with making moon water and co-created full moon nights with my nieces and new moon rituals with my besties.

All this to say, it was all just FUN!

When I read that the snake symbolizes shedding and letting go, I just thought: good luck, I’ve already shed everything. But had I? In years prior, I had shed big things: my New York City identity, my corporate girlie life, romantic relationships that had run their course, any possession that wasn’t on high ground at the time of the flood. What else could there possibly be to shed?

The Remnants

This year has been about shedding and letting go of the remnants of all of the big things that were already gone. I shed my nyc phone number and switched to a local one. I realized one day that my bed frame was one that an ex-boyfriend had given me, and once I saw that, I couldn’t unsee it, and it had to go. Just to name a few. The shedding didn’t feel big or monumental, instead it felt light, and obvious.

Where the shedding of the big things felt like letting go, shedding the remnants has felt like just making space. And making space has felt SO good. Like less clutter and more clarity.

To Make Space

And with the next lunar new year fast approaching, I have been craving making as much space as possible for what is coming next. January has definitively been tidying and organizing vibes and here are 3 things I’ve been giving my energy to:

1. A Wall Calendar

What a Google Calendar it offers in convenience, it lacks in a visual big-picture. Which is why I need both! This year I’ve gone bigger than ever…

…and I’m obsessed. It gives me space to see all the things: events, birthdays, key dates and dream-trips-not-yet-booked all at once.

If you want to do it too, it’s very DIY friendly:

• Calendar: this is a link to the calendar template I used, which I added moon dates to and then had printed out in 11x17 (ledger-size) cardstock at Office Depot.

• Frames: these were my inspo, but this is what I went with. I bought 12 of the 12x16 size.

• Accessories: this is exactly what I am using to fill out the calendar now that it is hanging on the wall: rounds, washy-tape, sticky tabs.

Seeing the big picture of the year does something to my brain: I can see patterns, conflicts, and opportunities much more clearly. And setting it up feels like making space for what lies ahead. It will fill with events, projects, and travel as time goes on, but for now, it feels like space for possibility and opportunity.

2. Closet Space

I read The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up exactly 10 years ago. My work bestie gifted it to me after a big breakup, and it was, in fact, life-changing. In a nutshell, it’s all about asking yourself if something “sparks joy” and keeping only the things that are an “absolutely yes”.

I went through my closet this week to clear more space, and it felt so good! In case you need a little nudge to do the same, I share this little nugget from the book, which resonated with me:

The space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past.

3. Habit Refresh

Rather than feel pressured to start all the good habits all at once, what if you just made space for one habit you already know works for you?

My favorite way to make space for better habits is by reviving an old one. Starting a totally new habit when you have no idea if you even will like it is madness when you can just restart a habit you know you already love. For me, that’s cold plunging. I do it throughout the year, but the only time I do it every single day is in January.

If you are craving a little habit refresh, it’s not too late to get in on the action. To find the right habit for you, consider:

• A habit you have done before that you know delights you

• A habit you have easy access to and can commit to doing every day

• A habit that can be done in 10 minutes or less (2 minutes is ideal!)

• A habit that you can enlist a bestie to do with you for easy accountability

It will give you the perfect little “I still got it” boost that feels so good and ultimately clears out all the mental clutter from the “shoulds” and gives you space to feel like your best! There are 21 days until the new lunar year, perfect timing for your habit refresh!

Which of these will you try, or what would you add to this list?

For Next

On February 17, we begin the year of the fire horse. From what I have read, it represents ambition and opportunity coming through fast and furious. I just discovered that I each animal has an element associated with it and it turn’s out I was born in the year of the “fire” snake. The synchronicity has me wanting to lean in once again, and I can’t wait.

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I have taken it slow and steady because I have learned that “haste makes waste” anytime I’ve tried to do too much too soon at the beginning of any new year. It hasn’t always been this way. There were many years where I bought into ALL THE JANUARY 1st THINGS! Resolutions and goal setting, and all the better habits, all at once. My vision board was feverishly thrown together, and my extensive and exhausting morning routine was activated.

The problem was, and still is, that all of that feels frenzied and frenetic and (for me anyway) has never been sustainable. It always felt like I was trying to make up for lost time, usually made me feel bad about myself when I couldn’t keep it up, and ultimately just set me up for failure.

Until I discovered another way. A better way to harness this new year fresh start energy, with less frenzy, more ease, and exponentially better and longer-lasting results.

My Year of 21 Days

I started my New Year’s Day 2013 on a yoga mat in a yoga studio on the Upper East Side in New York City. I wasn’t a yogi at the time; I was just craving something that felt slow and intentional. And at the end of class, the instructor gave us a single invitation: to set our intention for the year.

And in that slow and intentional space it became so clear to me, this was the year for being Best Me! A whole year of making decisions and setting goals, and building habits that would get me to Best Steph.

It became a year of asking the same questions over and over again. Does this make me feel like Best Me? What can I do to feel like Best Me? What would best me do? Anything that got me closer to Best Me: proceed enthusiastically. Anything that got me further away from Best Me: adjust expeditiously.

And the year that unfolded was pure magic. Over the course of the year, and supported by Best Me habits, my whole life upleveled: I bought a condo, I ran my fastest marathon, I met one of my besties, I advanced at work, I secured a spot on the board of my building, I could go on and on. What started as a Manifest-OH! created momentum where the only natural result was: best Steph!

Manifest-OH!: What It Is

A traditional manifesto is just a public declaration of one’s core beliefs. People can have them, companies can have them, they can be in the form of a book, a mission statement, or even a slogan. Carpe Diem is the manifesto from the movie Dead Poet’s Society. The Four Agreements is a manifesto by author Don Miguel Ruiz. And Nike’s co-founder Phil Knight penned 10 leadership principles that are referred to as the Nike Manifesto.

A manifest-OH!, which is my take, is a personal power statement with an emphasis on two things:

1. aligning your inner and outer world (“manifest”)

2. with a sense of delight (OH!).

And writing it at the beginning of the year gives you a clear and delightful operating system for your year. Who do you want to be? How do you want to feel? What is most important to you in this moment? Now make it a manifest-OH!

That first year, little-miss-BEST ME, my manifest-OH! looked something like this:

• I am becoming the BEST version of ME

• I choose habits that make me stronger, smarter, healthier, and more financially responsible.

• I give myself a whole year for BEST ME to show up, playing with one new habit a month.

It delighted me, and it became my operating system. From habits, to routines, to everyday decisions. When in doubt I only had to ask the question: does this get me closer to or further away from best me.

I give you that personal example because it’s my own. And I have one for nearly every year since then. It starts with a power statement framed around how I want to feel and then gets built out based on what it means to me. It’s highly personal, super effective, and imo the best way to kick off the start of the new year.

Manifest-OH!: How To Write Yours

I wrote my 2026 Manifest-OH! last weekend and invited besties & new friends to join me (you can catch the replay here). Here is the step-by-step for writing yours:

1. Get Ready: Find a cozy spot, pour your favorite bevvy, grab a journal and your favorite pen.

2. Get Centered: Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, concentrating on the space between your eyebrows. You want to be able to access your own inner wisdom and knowing for writing yours; this helps access that.

3. Rate Your Current State: From 1-10 (10 being amazing!), rate the following 4 categories of your life as they stand right now: Health, Relationships, Career, Finances. Circle the one you rated the lowest.

4. Answer this: How Do You Want to Feel?: For the category you rated the lowest, how would you feel if you increased that rating 2-4 points in the next year? How would that make you feel? How do you want to feel in this particular area? Use this guide for inspo and write down as many words as you want. The words you choose should resonate for you, delight you, and spark enthusiasm.

5. Narrow It Down: Is there a theme to the feeling words you chose? An overarching word that feels the most emotional, exciting, and perfectly suited for you? What is the theme of the words you selected? See if you can narrow it down to a single word.

6. Define It: Now define what that word means to you. This is where you can use some of the other words you selected. I also like to look up the definition of the word for inspo. You really want to make this your own; it should mean something personal.

7. Now Make it a Manifest-OH!: The first line of your manifest-OH! should start with I am, I have, I live, or I do, and then fill in the blank with your THEME word. The rest is what that looks like, feels like, sounds like to you. See if you can break your definition into bullets. Use this guide for inspo and to get your creative juices flowing.

Your Manifest-OH! Attracts SynchrOHnicities

The secret magic of a manifest-OH! is that it attracts synchronicities. Those unexpected little delights that feel like coincidences beyond your control. When synchronicities show up, it is a signal of your inner state aligning with an outer event, and it is a sign that your Manifest-OH! is manifest-ING! To attract more synchronicities, let your Manifest-OH! take up space in you life.

Here are some ways to do that:

• Set an Alarm on Your Smartphone: open the clock on your phone, click “add a new alarm” and choose a time when you know you will be awake (11:11 or 2:22 is fun!) and repeat it every day. In the “label” section add your manifest-OH! It could be as simple as “I am Best Me” or my favorite “Now be 10% more of your best self”…insert your word of choice, naturally.

• Make A Question of the Day: “What is one thing I can do today to feel more ___” make that your question of the day.

• Make It Visible: Make your Manifest-OH! your screensaver, make it a note on your phone, post it somewhere you can see it on the regular.

Give Your Manifest-OH! Momentum

It starts with a Manifest-OH! and to give it momentum you need aligned action. That’s where habits come in.

That first year of Best Me I decided to commit to one habit each month to build my momentum. My habits ran the gamut:

• healthier habits (yoga, running, spinning)

• richer habits (not taking taxis, keeping a cash budget, no shopping)

• smarter habits (not being late, learning a new skill, reading a new book)

• hotter habits (meditating, morning pages).

Some I loved and they became my identity: this is who I am now. Some I decided were not for me after all, which was also cool because I didn’t have to waste my time or energy with them once I realized they weren’t for me.

Twelve months of slow and steady and sustainable habits changed everything for me. Three years before the book Atomic Habits would conceptualize the idea that small changes leading to big results, I lived it and still live it. This is where I tell the stories of habit experiments and the lessons learned.

This is part of a series on January things, sharing how I am starting 2026 to set myself up for success for the next 365 days. Hint: it’s slow but intentional.

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But many of us have a complicated relationship with resolutions (and anything goals-adjacent, for that matter) because we know that they will feel like a trap the moment we can’t keep up with them.

Only this year IS DIFFERENT.

You don’t need another resolution. You need a Manifest-OH!

What’s a Manifest-OH?

I’m so glad you asked!

It’s your personal manifesto: a declaration of what you believe is true, possible, and available for you. It’s the why before you even begin manifesting the life of your wildest dreams. It’s the powerful statement that will inform everything else that comes next in the new year.

What comes next?

Well, that’s up to you!

But first, you need a Manifest-OH!

Introducing: Manifest-OH!

I hosted a free masterclass for writing yours:
🔥 the power of creating your own personal Manifest-OH! for the upcoming year
🔥 why it's the foundation of everything that comes next (goals, habits, your best year yet!)
🔥 a simple framework & live exercise for creating your Manifest-OH! for 2026
🔥3 practices for keeping your Manifest-OH! at the front and center of your year

What You'll Walk Away With:
🍾 Clarity for what you are calling in for this season
🍾Your one-line Manifest-OH! for the year (& ideas for continuing to add to it throughout the year
🍾 3 specific practices for incorporating your Manifest-OH! into your everyday

The Recap is Here

I’m offering it for free because I think it will be one of the best things you do all year (with or without joining the club)!

For so long, I bought into all the resolution hype, new year-me! I’d start the year enthusiastically, but soon realize the change was unsustainable. And the worst part, when I fell off my resolutions, I made it mean something about me: I wasn’t disciplined enough, motivated enough, I didn’t want it enough.

And then I tried a different approach. I started my year with an intention for how I wanted to feel. And it became my manifest-O: I manifested feeling that way and the life that comes with it!

It became less about everything I needed to DO, and more about aligning my life to feel the way I wanted to feel. And that made all the difference!

And the best part? You don’t have to be disciplined or motivated; you just need a better start to the year.

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The World is Your Oyster

Two years ago this week, I pushed off from the safe shoreline of a corporate paycheck with a dream of entrepreneurship. My dream is coaching women who have gotten everything they wanted (or not) and are ready for *next*.

My entire life story has been one of two experiences:

🏅arriving at the thing I wanted and then asking myself “now what?”

OR

❌not attaining the thing I wanted, feeling hella confused, and then asking myself “now what?”

Either way, the answer has always been the same: *next*.

And for the last 3 years of my corporate experience, I had the unique opportunity to coach employees as they navigated their own version of *next*: Next promotion, next project, next change, next challenge. It was the time in my career that I felt the most excited and the most connected to my purpose and I LOVED it!

Which is how I found myself in my own version of *next*: entrepreneurship. And considering I was doing it in the era of early-AI and all-remote-everything there was no doubt in my mind that the world was my oyster and the pearls were mine to find.

Did I know just how rare it is to find a pearl in an oyster? Absolutely not.

Was I better off not knowing? Naturally.

If You Build It, Will They Come

I kicked off my new business venture with the very thing I craved: a holistic mini retreat. Think limited capacity, wellness amenities, group yoga, one-on-one coaching, and a curated schedule to move through the experience.

This made all the sense in the world to me at the time. I had all the qualifications, all the credentials, all the DNA (my mom was a travel agent for decades curating experiences for others), and I had been running retreats and conferences for years. This was simply putting it all together in a mini-experience that felt aligned for my new business.

Designing the experience was undoubtedly in my wheelhouse. Marketing it, on the other hand, was not. I just kind of figured if I build it, they will come.

Making It a No Brainer

It’s not that I had no marketing skills; it’s just that mine were very niche. In my corporate life, I had to “market” my solutions to one stakeholder, maybe a handful at most.

My first year in public accounting, laptop computers were just replacing desktop models. And while the laptops were exceptionally portable, they were missing the one thing that tax accountants need most: a 10-key number pad.

So I did what any first-year with bodacious audacity would do: I booked a meeting with the lead partner and pitched the idea of everyone getting a 10-key. I made the case that us “number crunchers’ needed a tool to do the most with numbers.

And the only question the partner asked in response that day was: how much?

I know this solution sounds super obvious, but the dynamic at the time was: be grateful for what you have and if you need it, you should go buy it yourself. But I saw it differently. Like, if it was going to make us all better (and faster) at what we do best, then everyone should have one!

The good news: the partner thought it was a no-brainer! And I emerged from his office excited to report back to all the naysayers who told me just to be grateful:

Since that day, every single thing I have ever done in my corporate America consulting experience has followed the same exact pattern: Problem > Solution > Make it a No Brainer to one person > Go Do Your Work Excellently.

Rinse-repeat. For decades.

So when I started my business venture with a mini-retreat, that’s what I knew worked. And I made it a no-brainer to one person.

Patience, Never Heard of Her

The problem was, that one person was me. I didn’t sell out the retreat. No. one. signed. up. at. all.

I did end up having the retreat. For the one person, me. But for all intents and purposes, it was a failed launch. I didn’t just lose money on it, I lost a little trust in myself.

I used this mini-retreat-for-one to feel ALL THE THINGS: disappointed, confused, betrayed (by the part of me that thought this was a good idea), but most of all: impatient.

Impatient for success.

And this is where I first met her: little miss impatience.

There is a therapeutic model based on the concept that each of us are made up of multiple sub-personalities, or “parts”. A quick explanation if you’ve never heard of this:

🧠 IFS: If you want to get technical it’s called Internal Family Systems, and your parts are the “family”.

🧠 Inside-Out: If you want to get pop-culture-y, it’s what is portrayed in the Pixar “Inside Out” films.

🧠 Parts Work summarized: your brain is made up of all these amazing parts that want you to thrive. And while there are no bad parts, there are parts that want to keep you safe and all parts have the potential to go rogue if not given attention. They like to be involved in everything, so talking to them helps.

Little Miss Impatience was one of my parts. And she was pissed.

Little Miss Impatience can really be so fun! She exists in a world where everything is urgent, which can come in SUPER useful. She is quick to take imperfect action, she is unconcerned with the fear of failure. She is who you want to call when you are up against a deadline or need something immediately because that is her specialty! She is also who you want to call when you are launching something for the first time and are eager to put it out in the world. You say “help please” and she says “how fast!?”

For all her wonderful attributes, there are some complications. For starters, everything is urgent to her. She rides a little too heavy on the gas pedal, she inexplicably needs the closest parking spot, and don’t even get her started on same day shipping from Amazon SHE LOVES IT! The faster the better.

And what I’ve learned about her is, because she THRIVES in urgency, she creates situations of urgency. Could she get to the airport in plenty of time to relax with a cup of coffee and a book at the gate, of course. Does she want to? Absolutely not…there’s no urgency in that. And so at times she can stall until the last minute, create urgency, and voila, she gets to be the star of the show. Or so she thinks.

She loved getting her way that day in the partner’s office: ask and you shall receive…immediately! She hated when her tactics didn’t result in immediate success for the mini-retreat: she was confused and disoriented.

Measure of Success

It turns out that little miss impatience is actually two parts that sometimes partner up: patience & urgency. Patience actually has all the time in the world, she loves the long game of something, she likes leaving early for things so she doesn’t feel rushed. And when she partners up with urgency together they can be a real powerhouse. Turns out they can also be an absolute wrecking ball together.

I share all of this because this has been my assignment since the moment I decided to grow my own business. This is the work. THIS is the measure of success.

This is what I’ve learned: success is an inside job.

YES, I have learned about marketing funnels and expert copy and content pillars and all of the systems that you need to make the entire machine of a business work. But the measure of “success” has been less about sales and more about meeting the parts of me that have been playing in the background of everything I do.

When they say that success is an inside job, I always thought it was a mindset thing. And I have “mindset” for days. For me, it has been different. The inside job has been about getting to know all of the parts of me that make me ME (especially the spicy ones).

A Love Letter To My Parts

The parts of me that are always cheering me on and believing I can do the impossible: they are easy to love, to keep close, to invite into every project, launch, adventure, and lesson. They are patience and enthusiasm and ingenuity and curiosity, to name a few.

The parts of me that try to protect me from every potential demise (and therefore can get a little spicy): I have had to learn to love, to value, to keep close, to invite into every part of my business. These are my protector parts and they are control and inner skeptic and anxiety and defensiveness, to name a few.

I didn’t know before I began that the protector parts have just been running in the background, trying to keep me safe. I also didn’t know that they have a tendency to overreact, to get trapped in an old story, and if ignored, will keep me small, so I don’t get hurt.

The process of becoming a solopreneur involves wearing so many hats and learning everything you need to know about how to run a business all at once. For me it has been a very delicate eco system of learning and doing and iterating and trying again. And my greatest success has been in not ignoring any of my parts. They are brilliant and amazing and creative and cooperative. They are also not afraid to wreak havoc to get my attention.

Two years ago I had this big dream of what I could do *next* with my one wild and precious life. Happy two year anniversary to us: me & all my parts!

Advice I Would Give 2-Years-Ago Me

If you are navigating your own era of having the bodacious audacity to try something new with your career, this might help. It’s very specific to my entrepreneur journey, but rings true for every time I have navigated a career change. 10 Things I would tell 2-Years-Ago-Me (that I am also reminding today-me):

1. The World IS Your Oyster. There’s never been a better time to lean into what lights-you-up and figure out how to get paid for it! You’ve never been in a better position to be the right person in the right place at the right time. Don’t fall for propoganda that would convince you otherwise.

2. The Pearls ARE Rare. Be open to where you will find them, I have found that they usually show up where I least expected.

   »Here’s one of mine: the sale of my NYC apartment, which was an income portal that was delightfully unexpected and also right on time. I talk about it in this podcast episode, where my friend Kaia (rest in peace sweet friend) interviewed me: Click to Listen. The backstory is that my neighbor happened to notice that my renters were moving out and emailed me immediately to make me an offer I couldn’t refuse.

3. Live Your Dream Life Now. Live your dream life on your way to success. Your frequency is the way you show up and I cannot urge you enough to show up as your dream life version every single day. In your dream life what are wearing, how are you moving, how do you talk, who are you talking to, what do you listen to. Curate that for yourself and live that life. If not now, WHEN?! And pro-tip: it’s allowed to change, as frequently as you’d like.

   » As soon as I switched my point of view to one of I get to live my dream life every day, so much shifted for me. You get to, now go actually do it: live your dream life.

4. Have Nervous System Rituals: Your nervous system is what gets activated when something happens that puts you in fight-or-flight mode. Even though very little of our day-to-day is a matter of life and death, the nervous system can still get activated as if it is. And when the nervous system is activated, it spikes cortisol in your body, and next thing we know you are stressed AF. Have some rituals to calm your nervous system, that’s all!

   »I built a nervous system toolkit for myself, in case you need some inspo you can view it here>.

5. Have a Recovery Plan: When you don’t get the thing you think you want, the disappointment is real. But how you recover from disappointment is the most valuable thing you can practice in the early days. This goes beyond nervous system rituals, this is about feeling your feelings and beginning again.

   »Disappointment is actually one of my parts, I call her “bummer”. Just the other day she got bummed out by a boy. Bummer, right?!? Anyways, since it’s fresh here is exactly what I did for my recovery plan. This isn’t a prescription, as you’ll find your own way of recovering, but this was mine:

   🤳🏼I texted my relationship coach

   🧠I held a “parts meeting” so Disappointment could speak and the other parts could support her

   🐚I held a “closing ceremony” where I released a shell into the bay

   🎧I did a walking guided meditation called Clear Your Aura

   🔥I saged + palo santo’d (in that order) my apartment

   🎶I held a dance-party-for-one to Sia’s “I Want to Swing From the Chandeliers”, felt right…might still be doing this on the daily

6. Get Parts-Curious: The book No Bad Parts by Dr. Richard Schwartz was my gateway to Parts Work. There are also quite a few podcasts out there on Internal Family Systems. If you want to deep dive you can even find a therapist that specializes in IFS. Since “success is an inside job”, 10/10 recommend getting curious and seeing where it goes for you.

   » I initially checked out the audio version of No Bad Parts from my local library on the Libby App. Now I have the paperback and the audible. What I loved most is at the end of each chapter, there is an exercise, most of which is a guided meditation. The GOLD of it all for me was the daily practice in Chapter 1.

7. Mine Your Past for Your Activated Parts: Your past is a gold mine of activated parts, and you never have to go that far back into your past. From a career perspective, go boldly BACK to the last year and any events, experiences, and interactions that were particularly spicy. Mine those for triggers, big feelings, and big emotions. Those are the triggered parts that are trying to get your attention. You can take them through the daily practice I referenced above.

   » I told my story of little miss impatience above, but there is also the story of avoidance, imposter, and indignation. What can I say, I’m a human living a human experience and just getting to know my parts. These are stories that aren’t ready to be told, but I am noticing in my writing how my parts LOVE being the main character, so maybe soon.

8. Have an Inner Circle: Your inner circle will be the people that will hold your tears when they flow without warning, celebrate BIG time when the time is right, and expand you in all the ways you need to make your big bodaciously audacious dream a reality. Anyone outside of the inner circle just needs to know that you are living your dream life, nothing more.

   » I have no doubt that most people in my circle of acquaintances want me to succeed (at least I assume so). But since a lot of people don’t know how to express that in a meaningful way, they might express it as unsolicited advice. Having been on the receiving end of unsolicited advice that was not only not helpful, but somewhat demoralizing, I identified a Top 10 as my Inner Circle. I will listen to any advice they want to give me with curiosity. But if you aren’t in my Top 10, boundaries! Boundaries can be silent, and they should always be kind.

9. Have a Tech Stack: You need tech stack to master your time and energy. At a minimum that is your email, your calendar, your to do list, and a place where people can buy from you. What is your version of that? Start there, leverage it to the hilt, and add on sparingly as needed.

   »My basic stack is Google > Notion > Kajabi. If nothing else those need to be tended to every day. Beyond that I have a stack for every initiative. For example, this blog is part of my content initiative, specifically my blog. This tech stack is Substack > Audacity (where I record the audio version > (and if applicable) Giphy and/or Canva. I don’t use AI for this, but I do use AI to repurpose this into other content channels, each of which have their own stack. If you are curious about all the stacks, let me know I can do a post.

10. Swing from the Chandeliers: I saved the best for last! I have a part of me that I call “Sia” because she wants to swing from the chandeliers. If you are going to go for it, have the best time while you are at. Seriously, you may never be this way again (early stage business building), swing from the chandeliers in case you can’t do it in the next stage.

    »this month I am swinging from the chandeliers and I cannot wait to showcase everything I’ve been working on in the container of a launch window! I won’t just tell you, I will show you…and I’m going to delight in every last second of it. Because I might not be this way again, so I’m going to live it to the hilt!

✨If you are in your bodacious baddie era, me too! Let’s be friends~

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Egregious Audacity

Audacity is one of those words that has a spectrum. At the egregious end, it is marked by rude or disrespectful behavior. At the bodacious end is the willingness to take bold risks.

For bodacious audacity inspo you can read here and here.

For egregious audacity, you already know the kind I’m talking about. It’s less about how we spot the difference, we know the difference. It’s more about what we do once we see the difference.

If you stop reading now and don’t take anything else from this, I want you to know this important secret:

The antidote to egregious audacity is bodacious audacity. You don’t fight rudeness with more rudeness. You meet it with bodacity.

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Pop Culture Audacity

Love Island is in its 7th season of filming 20-something singles living together on a beautiful island, competing for $100k prize money to find love. It is a game of love and money. It is unscripted and at times unscrupulous. The perfect setting for audacity on all ends of the spectrum.

In a recent challenge, the contestants submitted anonymous notes to each other airing out their grievances. Things stopped being polite and started getting real. Real audacious. And anonymous in this case was synonymous with being rude.

The audacity played out in real-time as one of the female singles, Amaya, read her letters aloud to the group. Her anonymous letters revealed that she was too emotional, too passionate and that she came on too strong. The delivery was harsh.

As tears ran down her face while reading these letters, the men started chiming in. Not to take-back what they said, but to mansplain why they said it while this woman was already in tears. An example of what they didn’t like? She called one bro “babe”. And it was too much for him. On a dating show. That this man signed up to be on. Where the whole point is to couple up quickly. To win money. Being called “babe” crossed the line for him. And he had the audacity to tell her she was being too much.

IRL or on reality TV, when something you say brings someone to tears, it’s rude to keep piling on.

Pizza Audacity | A Dating Short-Story

In my heyday of dating in New York City, I was on a third date with someone we will call “the attorney," and our first dinner date. We had plans to meet at a cozy Neapolitan-style pizza restaurant on Bleeker Street. What you need to know about me is that I am a pizza-lover. And what you need to know about Neapolitan pizza is that it is personal-sized. Read: everyone needs their own pie.

As we settled in with menus, the attorney confessed that he got to the neighborhood early and had a couple of slices of pizza nearby. As I was trying to wrap my head around this, he explained further that he would just share with me whatever I ordered.

But who said I was sharing?

I glanced at the table next to us. A cute couple was living my dream pizza date. A bottle of wine. An appetizer in the middle of the table. And each with their own pie.

I will die on the hill that it is some sort of audacity to ask someone to share a Neapolitan pizza. So it shouldn’t have been any surprise when this same man then asked me to split the bill at the end of the date. The entire evening’s unfolding was the opposite of bodacious.

Career Audacity | A Niche Example

Jen was an instructor for Peloton in its early start-up days, parted ways six years ago, and last month joined a competitor in at-home-workouts called Ladder. Longtime Pelotoners might remember her, but only as a distant memory of a long-ago era. Pre-IPO. Pre-Covid. Pre- all the other home equipment options like Mirror and Tonal and now apparently something called Ladder.

As part of Ladder’s marketing campaign, Jen parked a giant billboard outside of the Peloton studio headquarters, emblazoned with the words “Ditch the bike. Download Ladder.” It boasted a promotion for Peloton members to get 3 free months with this new company when they #ditchthebike.

However clever the campaign (was it though?), the delivery by a former employee was messy. Being bodacious is about being bold, but it is rarely messy or petty. This was giving rude.

Finances Audacity | A Career Short-Story

I moved to NYC when I transferred with my firm from their Charlotte office. As part of the transfer, I was going to get a cost-of-living adjustment, commensurate with other Directors in the New York office. The only catch was: since salaries were only adjusted once a year at year-end, there would be a few months lag between my move and my pay adjustment. But I could rest assured they would catch me up.

Year-end came. The salary adjustment did not. When I inquired about it I was told: too late. The numbers have already been run, sorry.

Rude doesn’t quite capture it. Definitely some audacity. Did not feel bodacious.

The Only Acceptable Response: Bodacity

For every big bodacious move in life, there is a multitude of opportunities to have bodacious audacity in the micro-moments. If you ever find yourself staring down the barrel of someone’s rude audacity, the way out is to have bodacity. And the more we practice in these micro-moments, the better we get at it when it’s time for the big moves.

Amaya in the Love Island villa? She stood on authenticity. She had the bodacity to be unapologetically herself. If tears were a problem, she said (through tears, obvi), then, in her words, “I’m not your cup of tea to be drinking.” And if she came on too strong, she simply quipped that she wasn’t a “book you should be reading, and that’s okay.” She didnt’ apologize, she didn’t shrink, she leaned into her sensitive side and articulated in a way only she could that she was being herself. Bodacious audacity is always grounded in self-worth and reeks of authenticity.

My pizza date? I did share my pizza, but I had just enough bodacious audacity to say “no thank you” to splitting the bill. I get to choose my standards and what I will tolerate, and walk away from what is an absolutely-not for me. And if he had the audacity, then so could I.

The Peloton-drama? A current Peloton instructor had the bodacity to clap-back. He’s a little spicy in his delivery, but it can be summed up in this line: “I don’t care where you work or what community you represent, if you inspire your community to move, I salute you and I love you. But don’t come for me and my team and how we inspire our community to move.” Being bodaciously audacious is never about having the last word or being right. But it does call out bad behavior for what it is. In these micro moments there is an opportunity to say something bodacious when you see something egregious. And then move on.

My promised salary adjustment? I was a baby-bodacious baddie at the time. A little bit scared to be bodacious, but more scared not to be. I gathered every ounce of bodacity in me and went to the big boss. It was less of a negotiation, more of a meeting of the minds. I wish I could say that I was light about it, like: whoopsie, looks like you missed a digit! At the time it was one of the hardest things I had to do.

Minds were met that day and viola. I only had to be bodacious enough to ask twice, but my salary was appropriately adjusted and trued-up.

In the face of egregious audacity, you must have bodacious audacity. Bodaciousness is the only antidote. It’s the only medicine. It’s the only way out.

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The Bodacity Cure

Most of these examples are on the light side of the egregious spectrum. And that’s the point. The more we get to practice bodacity in the micro-moments, the more we prime ourselves for the bigger moments.

The big bodaciously audacious moves are your life's work, but the micro-bodacious moves are where you start to build your bodacity trust muscle.

For when you need the bodacity cure in the micro-moments, here’s your guide:

Bodacity is an Inside Job: The ability to be bodacious is grounded in so much self worth and deservingness. You get to choose your standards, acceptable behavior, and what is and is not aligned for you. Have the bodacious audacity to live a life that reflects those standards. And if your standards are low, you can start by having the bodacity to elevate your standards and build your self-worth. When you believe it on the inside you can project it on the outside.

Bodacity is Not Messy: Because being bodacious is grounded in self-worth, there is no need to explain or complain. Or apologize. Gaslighting doesn’t live here. When you don’t know what to say, default to your self-worth and keep it simple. Ideas to respond without explaining, complaining, apologizing, or gaslighting (from the examples above): I’m not your cup of tea to be drinking; no thank you to splitting the bill; I care about you, that was unacceptable; whoopsie, I think you missed a digit on my paystub.

Bodacity is a Practice, Not an Outcome: In these split-second moments we don’t have the luxury of a lot of time to react. That’s why I call them micro-moments. These are practice for something bigger. You are a bodacious baddie, and these moments are a way to get your practice reps. You don’t fight rudeness with more rudeness, you diffuse it with bodaciousness. And then you move on energetically because you are training for the big leagues of doing the big bodacious thing.

No One Wins: Bodacity isn’t about winning. It’s not about having the last word, being right, or making someone see the error of their ways. The personal win is that you recognized that something is not aligned for you and you decided not to suffer. The outcome is that you don’t cowtow to something that feels wrong. You stand up for what’s aligned for you. It’s a personal victory, the win is that you become more of the bodacious baddie you were born to be.

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This is a story of audacity past: the time I had the bodacious audacity to buy an investment property (alternative title: scary as hell, did it anyway).

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The Virtual Dinner Party that Pissed Me Off

One of my besties had the genius idea to hire a sommelier for an interactive dinner party. The som selects the wine. We select the menu. The som guides us through a social evening of wine and food, and connection. Absolutely yes!

The catch? The dinner party was on Zoom.

It was May 2020. Peak lockdown. And I was living in NYC. The epicenter for the pandemic in the US. Zoom had become my lifeline! To the outside world. To everyone I cared about. To my sanity.

Yoga with my neighbors. Happy hour with my besties. Easter sunrise with my family. And now a som-led dinner party. I LOVED it!

Until I didn’t.

The dinner party was somewhat of an intimate affair. As the familiar faces gathered around the virtual tasting table, I could see into everyone’s apartments. And more importantly, into their shared dynamics. And even though it had been there all along, the awareness hit me in that particular moment: I was the only one by myself.

In the height of social distancing and the call to flatten the curve, we were all living in isolation. But in this moment, 55 days into lockdown, it dawned on me: some were isolating together. And that was different. It’s not like they had it easier, but I felt the pang of not having another human IRL.

This was my defining moment.

Being pissed off at the current dynamic is pretty much always my cue that it’s time to make moves.

How to Find What Lights You Up, When It’s Been A While

I’ve never been one to fake enthusiasm, and I’m not very good at hiding absolutely-not-vibes. And the more the som tried to get me to engage, the less I wanted to. We were still on the first wine when I typed something in the chat about needing to leave. I turned off my computer. And I went to bed.

The following morning, I got a call from one of my fellow Zoom-dinner guests, Megan. She didn’t ask what happened. She didn’t try to tell me what I missed. She simply said: It’s time for you to go.

My brain had processed that my circumstances were not ok, but it hadn’t quite done the work of what I was going to do about it. That’s okay, because Megan was 2 steps ahead.

I asked her where exactly I was supposed to go, to which she replied as if the answer was there all along: home!

Home for me was New York City. I had bought a place here. I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. It was 11 years in the making of living my best life in the city that never sleeps.

But everything that lit me up about New York was missing. The pulse. The vibrancy. The buzz of city life. Teaching yoga on a roofdeck overlooking the East River every Saturday. My 20-minute walk to work in midtown. Quality time with my NYC besties.

Three days before the lockdown, I celebrated my birthday with my besties at my favorite spot. That was the last time I had accessed my lit-up-ness IRL. My favorite people. In my favorite spot. Living my best life.

I was so far removed from that now. I squeezed every ounce of lit-up-ness out of those days: my plants, daily sunlight, good sleep, facetime calls, home workouts. But there is only so much you can do to drum up delightedness in lockdown.

That’s when it is essential to have someone to guide you back to the light. Megan had moved to Fort Lauderdale from New York a couple of years prior. The land of milk and honey, by comparison at the time. Her and her husband’s jobs were in healthcare so it wasn’t that they were immune from the low-lows, but she could see the light a little better than I.

And she reminded me. I love spending time with family. I love being outdoors in the sunshine. I love the beach. I love the freedom to work from anywhere.

What lights you up on the inside will light the way for what comes next on the outside.

And what came next was a one-way ticket home to the Sunshine State.

When Alignment is a Long Game

Rewind. My sister Amanda and I had a big, bodacious dream of buying an investment property together. It started a few years prior on a trip home to visit our parents, and since then, we had been investment-house hunting.

We were taking baby steps of aligned action toward the bigger goal. And it was fun! We had yet to find the right property for us, but in the process, it helped us get clear on the need-to-haves, nice-to-haves, and absolutely-nots of our dream investment property.

When we started, we didn’t have a timeline. We were just seeking alignment. We wanted to be the right people in the right place at the right time for the right opportunity. We had all the time in the world.

Until we didn’t.

Once I booked my ticket home, my first call was to Amanda in Dallas to see if she would come too. It was slim pickings on Airbnb, but we found a listing that was perfect for us and within 24 hours we were booked for a month at the beach near our parents.

We made our Airbnb work as a living and co-working space. We had dinner with our parents on most nights. We took family bike rides on abandoned back roads. I never joined another Zoom dinner party.

And as I created new routines in this new space, I found my way to my lit-up-ness again.

And then our month at the Airbnb was up! But New York was still on lockdown. And I couldn’t go back. Not yet. So I did what felt like the most obvious thing, I asked Amanda to rent for another month with me.

But she had a better idea: We should buy the AirBnB!

And just like that, our dream of buying an investment property was back in play. And we were in a better position than ever to do the bodacious thing.

A Double Order of Audacity Please

Was there raging economic and job uncertainty? Absolutely yes.

Was our Airbnb for sale? Absolutely not.

Were we pre-approved for anything? That would be a no.

Were we ready to expose our separate financial positions to get a mortgage together? No one told us about this part.

But we didn’t wait for perfect conditions of certainty. There was no time to stall so we could get our financial affairs optimized. We just took the next obvious step. And then the next one after that.

Only this time, each step got exponentially bigger than the one before it. In rapid succession. And next thing we knew, we were the right people, in the right place, at the right time with the right opportunity to do the bodacious thing.

Side bar: Replace ‘right’ with ‘aligned’ in that sentence and you get a sense of how having the bodacious audacity for anything flows out of alignment. The only urgency is alignment. Everything else in the formula can take as much time as it takes.

Where we once had no timeline for our big bodacious dream, we were now on a fast track to doing the thing.

And maybe that’s the power of two, double the audacity. Double the bodaciousness.

The Rest of the Story

We had the bodacious audacity to think that we could buy an investment property during peak uncertainty. And we did it!

But the act of doing the thing is never the end of the story. Don’t ask about the terrible tile floor I picked out for the renovations. Or the time our renters that would have been a significant source of revenue, cancelled at the last minute. Or the time a 130-pound Saint Bernard damaged our couch.

Because that is the thing about having bodacious audacity, once you do the thing, you cross over to a new reality. In doing the thing, you become a bodacious baddie that can handle everything that comes next.

You are creative and clever and filled with ingenuity and the end result is never as important as becoming the bodacious baddie in the process.

And for all the challenges, the surprises and delights have been better than we could have imagined. This summer marks 5 years of being the bodacious baddies who did the thing and bought an investment property.

If You Want to be a Bodacious Baddie, read this first!

Last week I introduced the Bodacious Audacity Framework. Once you find yourself IN it, here’s what we need to know about becoming a Bodacious Baddie:

🔍It Takes As Long As It Takes

It’s not that you have to have patience necessarily, but it helps to make peace with the need for urgency for the end result. Think of everything that comes before the end result as a discovery phase. Get clear about why you want the thing right and be curious about the possibilities for how you get it and what it looks like.

Amanda and I spent years in the discovery phase for our investment property. That’s how long it took for it to be aligned for us. But even if it’s on a shorter timeline, it’s the same energetics of clarity, curiosity and alignment. You are honing in on the aspects of your dream that are most authentic.

Whatever timeline you happen to be on, be prepared to be delighted!

👯‍♀️You Need a Vision Holder

Your dreams were meant to be shared. I had a co-creator of my investment property dream, but that won’t always be the case. Find yourself someone that you aren’t afraid to be bodacious with, who will hold the vision with you of what you want that’s bigger than where you are. This is one of the most important supporting roles in your bodacious journey and it could be a co-creator, a coach, a mentor, a bestie and/or a partner. Choose wisely, this person is your confidante, your hype person and it helps if they are invested in your success for no other reason than they want to see you thrive.

🎢 Know that It Will Get Wild

My favorite ride as Disney is Thunder Mountain. When you board this rollercoaster, they issue a warning that feels apropos here:

Buckle your seatbelt and hold on to your hat. This here’s the wildest ride in the Wilderness.

As we begin to live into our wildest dreams, the process most often involves shedding old beliefs, limiting thoughts, and identities that hold us back. You are becoming the person who does the thing, and the bigger the thing, the more you may have to shed.

I don’t say this ominously, it’s the most beautiful thing. Like the caterpillar becoming a butterfly. It’s just that most people don’t talk about this part and it bears trying to put into words.

I can’t speak for my sister, but for me, there was a lot of inner work that was happening under the surface throughout the process of being bodacious investment property baddies.

For one, I have historically been a conflict avoider. I couldn’t be someone that avoids conflict and also buy and renovate an investment property with my sister. Both could not be true, we wouldn’t have made it (we almost didn’t?). I had both a coach and a therapist in my toolkit at the time and being able to work with them to dig into the why behind the why of avoidance helped me make the necessary shifts. Expect to meet your shadows, your fears, your limiting beliefs and your saboteurs along the way. If they weren’t there, you would have already done the thing.

Welcome those parts of you to the bodacious party. They got you to here, now they’re holding you back. Meeting them and working with them is part of being a bodacious baddie. If you need some guidance on this, I love the book No Bad Parts.

Now It’s Your Turn

When was the last time you were a bodacious baddie? And what’s your next bodaciously audacious big move? GO BE A BODACIOUS BADDIE, the world needs you to be your biggest, most bodacious self.

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Bodacious Audacity Part 1»

Oliver and his cat Phoenix went viral last month on their journey in a sailboat across the Pacific Ocean. Oliver quit his job, bought a sailboat, and started sailing around the world without even so much as having ever been on the ocean.

Zero. Ocean. Experience.

"Life's insane. Chase your dreams and just trust yourself." - Oliver

By now you might have stumbled across his story and his daily updates and discovered that his trek across the sea from Oregon to Hawaii was equal parts frightening and exciting.

And that he MADE IT.

Literally and figuratively.

He reached Hawaii, but not without rudder failure, seasickness, almost losing his mast, and getting locked in the cockpit hatch. But the delights were aplenty: epic sunsets, impromptu whale sightings, the opportunity to take an ocean dip in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, attracting the attention of millions (not to mention big-name corporate sponsors), and ultimately receiving a hero’s welcome once he reached land in Hawaii. It was like something movie scripts are made of, with everyone rallying around this everyday dreamer doing the thing.

To know his story is to love his story and want to root for him. He was diagnosed with a spinal condition that could render him paralyzed from the neck down, which became his permission slip to chase his dreams. He ditched the corporate job that he despised, liquidated his 401k to buy a sailboat, spent a year learning how to sail, and pushed off from the shoreline hoping for the best and prepared for the worst.

All I could think about when I followed his story was: this is some sort of audacity. The bodacious kind that is a marker of living life to the hilt.

And it got me thinking: how did Oliver, how have I, how does anyone get to the point of pushing off from the shoreline of safety to do the big bodacious thing? Where do we get the audacity?

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Alignment (the ultimate litmus test)

Before Oliver cashed out his 401k to pursue his dream of sailing around the world he confessed, “I work a corporate job at a tire shop and I absolutely hate this life.”

Hating your life in the position, job, career, lifestyle, relationship, or city you are in is a sign that you are not aligned.

Alignment is the litmus test for your life: it feels amazing when you are in it; you are the hero of your own journey; even when the unexpected arises it can still be thrilling because it’s aligned.

When you are not aligned (misalignment), life doesn’t get better until you find alignment again. In my experience, misalignment actually gets more uncomfortable until you do something about it.

And that's where audacity comes in.

The audacity to do something about it. To pause and take inventory. To explore what alignment could look like next. To go confidently in the direction of your dreams, even if (especially if) your dreams aren’t fully fleshed out yet. The audacity to live as if alignment is non-negotiable.

It’s the courage to say “this isn’t it” before you even know what is.

You might be out of alignment if:

• You feel like you have outgrown the container: the position, the relationship, the city, the identity.

• The thought of continuing in your current state of affairs in perpetuity is NOT OK.

• You got everything you wanted and are asking the question “now what?”

• You got everything you dreamed of and feel the nudge to start dreaming new dreams.

If it feels like a low-grade hum of dissatisfaction, it might be misalignment. And the only cure is getting back into alignment.

And getting back into alignment may require the audacity to push off from the traditional path and chart your own course.

Like Oliver. Who posted: “Dear Corporate America, I won” upon reaching Hawaii.

Bodacious Audacity (a practical guide)

There are two definitions of audacity in the dictionary.

au·dac·i·ty

/ôˈdasədē,äˈdasədē/

noun

1. a willingness to take bold risks

2. rude or disrespectful behavior

To distinguish between the two, I refer to the former as bodacious audacity and have taken liberty to make it my own.

Bodacious Audacity: a willingness to take bold risks in pursuit of living life to the hilt

If you are navigating a season of misalignment, here’s a practical framework to move from misalignment to having the bodacious audacity to do something about it.

1. The Defining Moment

This is the moment you know in your bones: something’s got to give. There’s a discomfort that comes from not being aligned anymore with your current state of affairs and this is the moment it becomes too loud to ignore. The job. The relationship. The identity. The belief. The routine. Whatever it is, you’ve outgrown it.

For Oliver, it was his diagnosis paired with misery at work.

For me, it has always been a feeling that I have squeezed every last ounce of goodness out of my current situation. It is both a quiet knowing and a grounded urgency to move to next.

It might feel also feel like Groundhog Day (new day, same frustrations, same dreadful loop) meets a breaking point event (something that happens that gives you a signal loud and clear that you are not aligned in the current situation).

This is where audacity starts—not with certainty, but with the clarity that you can’t stay where you are.

2. Know What Lights You Up

Shakespeare said it best: to thine own self be true.

But first you have to know yourself. Because the more you know, the better you can be true.

What lights you up?

What are your patterns?

What are your strengths?

What have you experienced that you want more of?

Reflect and explore through journaling, personal assessments, and conversations with people who know you best. Reflect on patterns. Discover your strengths. Get chatty with ChatGPT. Get woo-woo with your human design. Talk to your higher self if you’re into that kind of thing.

Oliver dreamed of the adventure of a lifetime: sailing around the world with his cat.

What is it for you? Get clear about what makes you feel wildly alive on the inside. Nurture the things that make you more you. Embody being in your lit-up-ness as a signal to the universe: more of this please!

3. Tune to Alignment

There’s something really wild that happens when you have your defining moment of **no more this** and are so clear on your **more of this please**. You start to tune into a new frequency for attracting aligned opportunities.

What job, relationship, dynamic, lifestyle do you dream of?

What job, relationship, lifestyle, career are you curious about?

Who has the thing that you dream of or are curious about? How can you connect with them and let them expand your sense of what is possible?

What actions can you take to align yourself with that dream?

For Oliver, it was cashing out his 401(k) and buying a sailboat!

For me, it typically begins with one small step in the direction of the dream, and then another (I’m a baby-step-aligner).

For you it could be as simple as getting in the habit of asking yourself: does this behavior-activity-relationship-project-task align with my dream life? The more you ask the more you can tune the frequency of your thoughts, actions, and beliefs to alignment. [Fine print: you will likely also have to shed what is not aligned.]

When you tune into what is aligned for you, you attract more alignment.

4. Start Before You Are Ready

You are never going to feel fully ready to do the big bodacious thing. But once you’ve gotten this far (had your defining moment, know what lights you up, and you are attracting alignment), when the aligned opportunity presents itself you are ready enough.

Oliver dove into sailing lessons and started building the skills to back his dream. He just started becoming the person that could sail from Oregon to Hawaii.

I threw myself into a life I knew nothing about. No sailing experience. No roadmap. Just blind faith in a better future. - Oliver

If there is an aligned opportunity, have the bodacious audacity to start before you are ready!

5. Trust Your Ingenuity

This is the part of the formula where you go all-in on YOU and your ability to adjust, adapt, and refine as needed. You are creative, clever, and filled with ingenuity.

The unknown? It’s inevitable. The worst-case-scenario? You can handle it. The hack: don’t let fear of the unknown hold you back from going all-out and all-in on your dream.

Oliver encountered rough seas and equipment failure. He figured it out along the way, but if he didn’t he would have been okay with that too. He trusted his decision to begin and his ingenuity to figure it out as he went.

"I've worked really, really hard to get here. Even if worst case scenario happens, I feel like I've already lived a life I'll forever be proud of." - Oliver

This kind of bodacious audacity doesn’t require certainty of outcome. It is bodacious precisely because of the uncertainty. You become the person who does the thing, and the success is you (not the final destination)!

Now It’s Your Turn

When have you had the audacity to do the bodacious t? It might have felt like jumping off a cliff, seeing two paths diverge in a wood and taking the one less traveled (in the words of Robert Frost), or just taking any leap of faith toward alignment.

What is your pattern? Does it match up with this formula? What would you add?

And what’s your next bodaciously audacious move?

In case it helps to hear it: you deserve a bodacious life, whatever that looks like for you.

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✨PS- I put the bodacious adacity framework in a pretty little graphic in case your brain works better this way: