Mojo: Where did you come from, where did you go?
and the story of losing mine
Can you remember the very first time you were FEELING yourself, like LOOK OUT WORLD, HERE I COME!?
I’m not entirely sure myself, but I have this one photo of 7-year-old me that captures a moment in time of what I can only describe as full-expression-ME.
It’s this blend of confidence, charisma, and ease that I refer to as MOJO. Of course of course of course: Romper ✅, Pink Accessories ✅, Flip Flops✅, Extra Layer Shoulder wrap ✅…it’s the authentic-steph-starter-kit. Layer in that we were on a cruise to the Caribbean and there you have it I was all in my LIT-UP-NESS.
And from this energetic I could pose for a picture with one flip flop off and a big toothless grin like it’s what I was BORN TO DO. Full expression ME, that’s what MOJO looks like and feels like.
MOJO: Where Did You Come From
We are born with our mojo and as life unfolds we discover it within ourselves. Mojo (authenticity, lit-up-ness, personal magic, your own special way that you experience life) is just THERE, it just IS. You discover it through trial and error: do you like this? do you like that? does this make you feel good? Your FEELINGS are the roadmap to your mojo.
When we are little we feel ALL THE FEELINGS, and our feelings are turned all the way up. As we grow we learn ways to turn the dial down our FEELINGS and sometimes even override them altogether, it’s a survival mechanism more than anything else.
That’s why who we were before we had to figure out how to navigate (survive) in life holds a lot of clues to our mojo. We change our minds about what feels good and what we like all the time, so our mojo evolves. And any time you are making decisions about what LIGHTS US UP (especially with your feelings turned all the way up vs numbed), those are clues to our mojo too!
MOJO: Where Did You Go?
Life, am I right? Life has been LIFE’ING. It always has, but it feels especially true in this exact moment. Hurricanes, election season, INSERT YOUR OWN COSMIC SHIFT HERE. If you are anything like me, whatever level of comfort you had going into this year has been radically challenged. And that will put you into survival mode. And when you are in survival mode, it’s hard to be in your lit-up-ness.
You are of course FULLY YOU, your mojo is there, but it can feel difficult to access until you can come back to baseline stability (homeostasis) and feel a little less survival-y. STEP 1: find homeostasis. STEP 2: find your way back to your mojo.
MOJO: A short story
After 3 sunny, sandy, salty years living at the beach, over the summer I decided it was time to move inland into more of the flow of city life. Living at the beach, and specifically in Pass A Grille was a DREAM that I had since I first lived in Tampa right out of college. And 20 years later I got to LIVE THAT DREAM and it was glorious!
I returned from my NYC trip in July with the realization that it was time for me to leave the beach. I could hardly believe it myself, but I felt crystal clear in my bones and I began taking next steps for what that would look like with the intention of not renewing my lease (which was up at the end of October).
I was on this path to leave the beach when Tropical Storm Debbie came through as rain and wind, then Hurricane Helene as a devastating storm surge, followed by Hurricane Milton with (hopefully) the final dose of destruction of the season (there’s a storm brewing as I write this).
Hurricane Helene was my personal cosmic shift. If cosmic shift is a spectrum, I was not on the extreme (when some of my family, neighbors, and friends were). Most of my apartment was on high ground, I was a renter, and since I was planning a move I already had my *next* lined up (that magically did not sustain damage from the storms). I had a lot stacked in my favor, all things considered, AND I still got thrown into survival mode. I just got to spend less time there.
And when you are in survival mode it is less likely that you will be maintaining any of your routines and rituals that make you feel good, that move you forward, that put you in your mojo. Because: survival.
And then one day you wake up in some sort of new normal and everything is in different places and some of your things just no longer EXIST, and you’re discombobulated but you are alive and you have this general awareness that you are not who you were.
That’s what cosmic shifts do. And even though you are not who you were in some aspects, your spark, your mojo, hasn’t changed. It just needs to come back online. It is THE thing that gets you to the other side of the cosmic shift in one piece.
MOJO: Discovering it AGAIN
As I was coming out of survival mode the days started to feel normal again, but I felt off. Where was my brain? Where was my sparkle? Where was my secret magic? Where was my MOJO?
As I eased back into the rhythm of my day I craved all my old routines, even if getting back to them felt a little clunky. And I found myself going back to the basics: quality sleep, water & hydration, making time for movement. I kept up my mindfulness practice throughout my survival mode through morning pages, but mindfulness is a good one to add to your basic toolkit too!
And I am revisiting all my old ways with a curiosity of: do I still like this? do I still like that? does this still fit in my life, environment, new rhythm? It’s all clues to my mojo!
Some things that have come back online real quick that help me be in my mojo (beyond the basics): carline pickups for my nieces (lit-up-ness score of 100), my current 21 Day Project of cold therapy (I do the plunge, cold showers work too!), and my Friday morning beach yoga class, to name a few.
Some things that no longer align or light-me-up on this side of the shift: ocean decor (maybe a little flooding ptsd, but also I’m not in my beach era anymore), online dating (I feel the call to be out in the wild more), my current content strategy (so much everywhere, I’m feeling the call for more congruent messaging that grows my online business), and planning around the monthly calendar (I am dabbling in planning around the 28-day moon cycle).
How About You?
What is the earliest memory of being in the FULL EXPRESSION of YOU? Or even better find a picture of little-you being in their MOJO. What are some clues to your mojo from that memory or photo? What helps you get all into your LIT-UP-NESS?
Have you recently experienced a cosmic shift (flood, displacement, move, breakup, job loss, divorce, FILL IN THE BLANK; but also could be new baby, new job, new home, COSMIC doesn’t mean BAD)? If you are in survival mode: you’ve got this, keep going, find homeostasis.
If you are coming out the other side of it consider starting with the basics of optimizing your well-being: quality sleep, lots of water to keep your body hydrated, movement like walking, and a mindfulness practice. This helps regulate your nervous system and gets your body and brain online in a gentle supported way. You can download my quick guide to these Top 5 Mojo Makers here.
As you make your way back to your LIT-UP-NESS, just know that you aren’t who you were and new things might light you up, and old things might not. I truly believe you/we are getting to the good part, I can feel it in my bones.
Love this for you!