Razzle Dazzle Me
Have you ever started something, but not finished? Maybe the magic sparkle of it wore off after a few days. It could just be that it didn’t give you the feeling of razzle dazzle you thought it might.
There are any number of reasons why something that we set out to do starts out so strong and with enthusiasm and conviction, but then falls by the wayside too quickly. It could have been that the thing was too unattainable, too unsustainable, too [insert valid reason for not carrying on]. Or it just simply wasn’t for you.
The exciting thing about life is that we get to try new things! We get to test-drive, experiment, try-before-we-buy, prototype a thing before we adopt it as our entire personality or a completely new identity.
The challenge of anything that we start is that it may not stick. And the problem isn’t so much in the stickiness, or lack thereof. The problem is the meaning we attach to the thing that we start and do not finish.
Pura Vida
I once rented a house in Costa Rica, invited my besties, and signed us all up for surf lessons, deep sea fishing, and ziplining for the ultimate getaway.
But FIRST: a half ironman triathlon. Lol. This is very me-coded.
The race day agenda was stacked: an early morning triathlon start, friends arriving throughout the day, and a welcome party with a private chef to kick off the festivities!
And then the wheels started to fall off my best laid plans. Literally and figuratively. And I didn’t finish the race. In race terms, it’s called a DNF. Did. Not. Finish.
Was I bummed and disappointed? Absolutely. Did I process my feelings about it at the time? How could I, it was the land of Pura Vida. Bad vibes, never heard of them. The itinerary beckoned me onward, and I brushed the disappointment under the rug.
And I know I don’t have to tell you that anytime you brush something under the rug it doesn’t go away, it just gets filed away in your subconscious. And this particular memory was filed under: I didn’t finish what I started.
The subconscious is tricky like that. It can latch on to something that happens and create an internal thought loop that is completely unhelpful. And even worse: it just runs in the background, with occasional subtle digs of disdain and mistrust.
When I flew back from vacay I carried on with life. Externally, no one would have been the wiser. But internally, that subconscious loop was alive and well. And a little spicy: when it felt the need, which was more often that I would like to admit, it would remind me about that time I didn’t finish what I started.
And then one day, I was over it. Over the subtle digs from me to me. Which is where I found myself when I decided it was time to prove it wrong.
The Secret Magic of 21 Days
One day became Day 1 when I decided it was time to trust myself again to finish what I started.
I needed my own personal comeback tour. So I came up with the idea to commit to doing one thing for 21 days. Over and over again, for as many times as it took to get my groove back. To trust myself again to finish what I started. To rewire my brain to create a new belief. The new belief that failure doesn’t live here.
Best case scenario, I would actually live my best life yet. Worst-case scenario, I would pick up some better habits along the way. But it was less about habits at the time and more about believing the best about myself.
So every 21 days, I committed to something new. Failure didn’t live here, and I was ready to prove it. Some 21 days projects were health-related, others were tied to my career, finances, lifestyle, or relationships. Since they were all connected, the more 21 day projects I did the more I thrived. Spoiler alert, I did miss some days that year. But since it was less about perfection and more about trusting myself again, it never set me back.
It took 1 day to begin. 1 week to feel the difference. 2 weeks to make it my whole personality. 3 weeks to feel unstoppable. And within 6 months I was practically unrecognizable.
Turns out I was right. Failure never lived here.
And just like that I had unlocked a secret magic of The Habit Code.
The Thing With Better Habits
The year I cracked the code on better habits from the inside out changed my life. That's why I had to turn it into something that anyone could use, on any habit of their choosing.
If you:
☑️ have the ping to start something new (and want to avoid start-stop cycle that keeps you stuck right where you've always been)
☑️ crave consistency that is easier done than said (and not the other way around)
☑️ expect your habits to actually make you feel a certain way (and not just be a thing to check off of a never-ending, ever-growing daily to-do list)
☑️ have been putting off better habits until you have more time and energy (even though you suspect better habits will give you more time and energy)
I am suggesting that now is the season, this is the time, there has never been a better day than today to begin!
Ideas for Where to Begin
Your habits should be making you hotter, richer, smarter or healthier. Here are some quick ideas for what those habits might look like, you will know best.
Healthier
yoga
running
food journal
10k steps (with or without a weighted vest)
following a specific nutrition plan
kettlebells
Richer
no-spend: choose a category and go all in on not spending for 21 days (take-out, taxis, amazon, alcohol).
cash budget
daily money date
daily scan for your dream job on LinkedIn
Smarter
not being late
using a new technology (ai, notion, asana etc)
learning a new skill
reading/listening to a personal development book
Hotter:
gratitude journal (for your partner or even close friends)
prayer practice
parts work (the Internal Family Systems Workbook works well for this)
morning pages (3 pages of stream of consiousness journalling)
These are but a few! Choose the category that needs the most attention, start with how you want to feel, commit to 21 days of a habit that you think will make you feel that way. Deceivingly simple, incredibly effective!
Love hearing the background story of the 21 day project launch!